Department of Government Efficiency Official Coffee Mug | Bureaucracy-Approved Beverage Container
Department of Government Efficiency Official Coffee Mug | Bureaucracy-Approved Beverage Container
šļø OFFICIAL BEVERAGE EFFICIENCY DIRECTIVE 2024-C šļø
NOTICE: This Department-approved ceramic mug has been certified for optimal caffeinated productivity enhancement.
SECURITY CLEARANCE: TOP SHELF
Efficiency Features:
- Premium ceramic construction (Approved by Materials Bureau)
- Dual capacity options for varied efficiency needs:
- Standard 11oz (Form 3.79-96)
- Executive 15oz (Form 4.69-119)
- Enhanced grip handle (Ergonomics Division Certified)
- Colored rim activation system (Visual Engagement Protocol)
- Microwave & dishwasher clearance (Time Optimization Directive)
PRODUCTIVITY ENHANCEMENT CAPABILITIES:
- 300% increase in morning motivation*
- Zero bureaucratic delays in beverage delivery
- Fully authorized for both coffee AND tea deployment
- Immediate caffeine distribution system
SAFETY PROTOCOLS: ā Lead-free certification ā BPA-free security clearance ā Spill-resistant design parameters ā Multi-wash durability rating
ā” PROCUREMENT NOTICE ā” Each unit is commissioned upon order authorization through our Just-In-Time Production Protocol. While this may extend delivery timeline, it ensures optimal resource allocation and quality control standards.
INTENDED OPERATIVES:
- Government efficiency experts
- Productivity optimization specialists
- Coffee security officers
- Tea administration professionals
*Results may vary. No paperwork required.
šļø IMMEDIATE AUTHORIZATION FOR DEPLOYMENT AVAILABLE šļø